been while...

so its been awhile...as pointed out by lindsay on the tag board...(lindsay is my one lone reader...its why i like her)...and i've bought a house...also pointed out by lindsay on the tag board...oh wow...just noticed the time...gotta meeting...more later...

recovering...

well, its been an interesting transition back to work and home after coming home from cali...i feel like i've told this story a million times, but anyway, my laptop and ipod were stolen the morning after i got home out of my office...that has been really stressful and a total bummer to deal with...it affected me a lot more than i thought it was going to...and it has stressed me out with the whole school thing...oh well...stress is nothing new...

sometimes i wonder what it would be like to have a normal job...i know that it would be not fun to have a job at like a fast food restaurant or something...but there is something that sounds so attractive about that to me...i think its the idea that when you clock out your work is done...you actually "OFF"...i cant tell you the last time i felt like i was really "OFF"...when i was in cali i was having the total guilties the day i went to the beach...i'm wacked...i was feeling "i should be at work"...i need therapy...haha...total ego work-a-holic...

so anyway...now i am using the powerbook...which i love...dont mind that at all...just miss all the info that i lost in my computer...anyway...now i'm in the market again...and i guess i'll be getting a new video ipod...which is a really cool idea...and i dont know what i will get for a computer...we'll see...we've been waiting a few days to see if it might show up or something...i am totally sure its not going to...but you never know...if whoever stole it is reading this...please give it back...please...you have no idea what you really took from me...so much more than just a computer...

ya, that will work...right...ok, well, gotta get back to work...till next time...

almost over...

sometimes i wonder why i do the things i do...i mean, think about it...why am i doing this program?...really...why?...is there really any benefit to me getting this master's degree?...i know there is benefit to education...i know that all the research says that more education equals more pay and better job security...but in my current situation...i am having a really hard time figuring out how things will be any different for me once i get done with this degree...and i am totally not enjoying it right now...its boring stuff that seems (at the moment) completely irrelevant...now i am the first to admit that not everything important seems to at the initial moments...but seriously, i've thought this through...its irrelevant...

maybe i'll take lindsays approach...go somewhere else...i like that approach...proactive...spontaneous...goal directed...i get it...maybe...but it is so cal...and in a couple more days i will actually get to enjoy that for a couple of days...but of course the weather is turning and they are expecting things to get cooler and maybe some rain over the weekend...of course...seriously, that is what has happened every time i have been out here for this program...beautiful while in class...rain while out...it sucks...

i slept really good last night...finally...lots of dreams...good dreams...i know that much...i just cant remember them...ok...well, i better start paying attention in class...haha...i'm the only one typing on my laptop...probably looks kinda suspicious...haha...till next time...

the weekend...

its finally the weekend for me...i spent an eternity in class yesterday...8am-9:30pm...and it literally felt like an eternity...during the 6-9:30 seection we didnt even take a break...who does that?...what college educated professor would ever dream of trying to keep students' attention for 3 1/2 hours?...it was bad...thats all i can say about that...

today was better though...it was 78 degrees and really beautiful...at lunch i took my book and went to a park down the street to read in the sun...it was good to get away from everyone and everything and just be alone for awhile...tonight i'm plannin on staying in the room, ordering room service, and watching tv till i fall asleep...i get to sleep in tomorrow morning...cant wait for that...its been an early 6 am every morning since i got here...

today's class was kinda interesting...suprisingly...we had an author, tim riter, that came and did a workshop for us about being published...it was kinda cool cause i have thought for a long time that i would like to write a book someday...as soon as i think that though, i kinda talk myself out of it...today was good because it helped me realize that i probably could do this someday...i really think i could do it...and i have a thousand ideas...i just need to narrow it down and make myself do it...

well...thats about it for now...i'm nervous about not being at church tomorrow for fusion...i know trevor is going to do really well...and i know that god will provide and protect...when i stop and think about it i guess i really dont have any reason to be nervous about it...i need to pray more i've decided...(sorry, i know that was random)...i think thats such a "duh" statement...but as i think about it...if you were a fly on the wall and observed my life anonymously i cant say with confidence that you would know for sure that God is my best friend...and i want that to be the case...

i'm rambling now...time to go...

first day and a half...

im in cali again...and as usual, i love it...i am here for school this time, and it is especially hard to stay focused on that fact...right now i am at the pool at the hotel enjoying the 89 degree bright sunny weather...i'm on lunch break and getting ready to head back...today is a long day...8 am-9pm...with a lunch and dinner break...its gonna be a long afternoon and evening with this beautiful weather...i keep finding myself fantasizing about ways to fake a sickness or something...anything to just get to be outside...its intense...

its only my second day here and i have to say that it has a different feel to it...i'm more content this time to just be in the hotel reading, or watching some tv instead of trapsing all over so cal...although dinner in laguna beach was good last night...sometimes...actually everytime...when i come out here i want to stay...there is some unexplainable connection that i have to this area...i dont know what it is...except that there seems to be so much energy and excitement here...i know there's the whole "grass is always greener" thing to consider...but it is undeniable that life is different here from the midwest...and especially mt vernon...movement, energy, and life...thats how i describe it...and sun...lots of sun...i love that...

well...i have to head back to class now...blah...oh well...more sun tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next day...hahaha...