summer sun...
wow! its hot...i went golfing this morning...18 holes...started at 7:30 so we could be done before it gets into the really hot part of the day...we were only going to play 9 holes...then someone said "lets just play another 9"...what in the heck were we thinking...it seriously was so freakin hot out there...i found shade at every opportunity...i went to see a movie last night...island...it was really good...definitely made you think...there was one part in particular where ewan mcgregor...the main character...has a conversation with his doctor about how he thinks there has got to be more to life then simply waiting to get called to go to the island...he feels like each day should hold more value than just another day to wait...i found this to be a profound moment in the movie...of course there were all kinds of other issues...cloning...death...etc etc etc...but this is the one thing that really struck me in the movie...in fact, i found myself thinking about it for the rest of the show...i thought about how earlier that day i had taken a two hour nap on my couch and watched a few hours of tv...about how i couldnt wait to have a day off the today in order to lounge around and be lazy...i dont get those chances very often...but when i do, i really look forward to them...but i found myself wondering why i dont look more forward to those times when i get to really experience life...moments when i am going to be in the presence of great people...moments when i am going to see something beautiful...moments when i am going to be challenged to rise to the occassion...those are life moments...but so often i look forward to the moments when i can escape life...i wonder if i would appreciate life more if it were something i didnt have so much control over...a friend once gave me a magnet for my refrigerator that says...may you live all the days of your life...thats where i'm at today...
lance...awesome...
i havent watched a lot of the tour de france this year...mostly because i havent been home to watch much tv at all...but i have picked up a paper or two here and there to check in and see what is happening...lance armstrong is the man...i'm watching oln network now and they are reporting that he is still over a minute ahead of the pack...and if he wins this will be his 7th win in a row...that's impressive...i dont know a lot about lance armstrong...i've seen a couple of interviews and read some articles...i have the distinct feeling from the little in know that he is not a christian...but there is something really impressive about this guy...he is much older than a lot of the rest of the pack...he has had some serious health problems...he has remarried...and i am sure much more has gone on in his life...but here is the impressive thing...in spite of all those difficult circumstances...in spite of all that opposition...in spite of all the reasons to give up...lance armstrong has charged on...he has improved...its extremely impressive to me that lance armstrong has that kind of focus and determination...sometimes i wonder how much i let my circumstances dictate my relationship with god...i mean, usually when things are going well...then i am able to worship, pray, and serve god in a positive way...but when things...circumstances of life...are off...when my life isnt going well or the way i want it to go...then i struggle...i still find myself praying...i still try to worship with my life and serve...but when my circumstances are bad then i feel like my life is bad...i lost focus on the future...i lose focus on my blessings...and i lose my sense of anticipation of what great things god is trying to do in my life...i wannabe more like lance armstrong...(that sounds hilarious...haha)...i wanna have that focus...so much so that nothing...absolutely nothing...will stop me from winning...i think i need to train more...
back in the vern...well, i'm back in the vern now, and i've spent the past few days trying to get back in the swing of things...it hasn't been easy...i've thought a lot about posting on here, but every chance i get i instead lay down and fall asleep...i dont think i have every been this tired after one of our mission trips or summer events...i didn't take a day off after we got back...went right back to work on monday...i thought it would be a good idea since so many of the volunteers had to do the same...wish i had some time to take off later this week, though...really really tired...
mission concord was really good...i really think the kids had a great experience...several kids really suprised me...bryce wants to be baptized...nick was a vocal leader...lindsay...wow...i am so proud of her...totally threw her plans for college to the wind in order to follow jesus to christian college...awesome...there are a lot more stories...cant share them all...just a really great week...there were, as is to be expected, some frustrations as well...but who needs to focus on those, right?...
seriously, i would say that i am totally under attack right now...i feel like i am being nailed by satan...total negative attitude...others attacking me...tiredness...lack of vision...fear...apathy...fear...anger...fear...and MORE FEAR...the more i think about it the more sure i am that i am being attacked...i need to do what i know i need to do...retreat to the garden and be alone with god...gotta get some time later this week...huge need...
mission concord...
still here in new hampshire...the week has been good on so many levels...it's another year of workcamp...not unlike many others really...which isn't bad (like it might sound) since workcamp is always so good...the kids are busting their rears...everyone tells me our kids are "such hard workers"...they're worshipping in the evenings...they're leading...its all good...really its what i expected it would be for them...there are some frustrations...boys and girls are at two different schools...which makes for transportation issues...minor frustrations with normal workcamp stuff...nothing new...i am not on a crew this year...bummer big time...i'm on the video crew...thought it would be really cool at first...and it was...i did that because i needed some time to work on some school stuff...althought i havent really found that time either...what was i thinking???...of course i wouldnt have time...oh well...so anyway, i would rather have been on a work crew if i knew i wasn't going to have time for school...i am having the guilties cause the kids are working so hard and i feel like i'm being a total slacker for not doing it...i guess video is important...whatever...haha...so one more day...they're gonna wrap up most sites today...then we will finish off everything else tomorrow morning...then off to hampton beach...on saturday...boston...good times...planning to go to the old globe bookstore...where thoreau and hawthorne first began writing books...cant wait...also going to the top of the prudential center and shopping in quincy market downtown...good times...the kids should have a blast...all in all...AWESOME WEEK!!!...but i cant wait to get home...
4th of july...
it was a very quiet independence day celebration for me...love it!...i slept in...read a book...watched a movie...took a nap...had breakfast for dinner (one of my favorite things to do on my days off)...and literally didnt leave my house all day...didnt even shower or shave!...so thats kinda gross, but sometimes you gotta just veg...and that was my day...today its back to work...we leave for our mission trip (mission concord) on saturday...very early in the morning...i'm very excited...i get to see my friends john and stefanie...i am on the video crew this year instead of on a work crew...so that will be a new twist on the experience for me...i am hoping to get some time to work on school stuff as well...somehow i doubt that will happen...but one can always hope...this week will be very busy preparing for this mission trip...one of the things i have been trying to grow in...it seems to elementary, but its something that i still havent mastered...haha...big suprise...but this is it...i want to stay consistent in my personal, alone time with god this week...in the midst of all the business, i often let that go to the wayside...and this week...especially this week...i want to see some progress there...i want to make sure i am getting my (at least) one hour with god...so thats it...prayers are appreciated this week...
my ciy experience...
i hadn't taken time to write about my ciy experience on here yet...i had been waiting awhile...it wasn't the greatest experience...and i wanted to make sure that i was objective about it before i put it out to the whole world...everyone keeps asking me if i did a good job...i havent figured out how to answer that...i think i did alright...i think i communicated clearly...and i think the message i was presented was understood...so all in all i would say i think a good job...although the message i was presenting was not an easy one to do...really nailed the kids on "worldliness" and "materialism"...it was not an easy message to present or to receive i imagine...
the negative part of the experience, though, had more to do with the dynamics of speaking at an event like that...i expected that when i showed up i would kind of "be taken care of"...i thought i would have someone show me around...escort me to dinner...tell me when and where i was supposed to be...i guess what i expected was that the people at ciy would do what they could to make sure that i was ready to speak that night...not so...instead, my ride from the airport was late...they dumped me in a dorm room...didn't tell me any arrangements for dinner...didn't tell me when i was supposed to be ready to speak...blah blah blah...you get the picture...it was very unsettling...and when it came time to speak...i was a little less than spiritually prepared...lots of distractions and frustrations...not at all what i thought it was going to be like...i'll probably write a letter...
but i guess i did ok...havent heard otherwise...
