Well, I haven't written anything for awhile. Things have been really busy lately. I've sat down several times to write, and after about a minute of trying to put my thoughts into a cohesive pattern, I give up and go to bed. Ha ha. Anyway, it's good to be writing again. I really enjoy doing this, and I will try to stay on top of this more often.

So a lot has been going on since I last wrote. Things at FUSION are great. We had a week off last week, and our visit with Audrey Hatcher was awesome. She is such a great musician. What a songwriter! I dont get to take our kids to a conference at Ozark Christian College which I am disappointed about, but I have had some great conversations lately with some younger high school students that I am really excited about. It seems to me that God is showing me some new directions and new doors of mentoring that He is opening up for me.

Have you seen this show yet? I was just watching this tonight. It's hosted by Lee Strobel, a former pastor at Willow Creek and Saddleback. Wow! Interesting. And kind of confusing too. It's a show that asks hard questions, and Strobel has guests that are Christian leaders share their knowledge on these topics. Tonight, one interesting topic was the war in Iraq. It was really interesting to see some Christian men...most of which I had heard of before...share their thoughts on these issues. It left me kind of confused and frustrated though. It was unsettling to see strong Christian leaders disagreeing so passionately. It seems like Christians should be more...I dont know...united and agreeing. I dont know. I mean, I know that there is room for different opinions and thoughts. It's just that these guys were presenting their information like it was the only viewpoint that was possible for Christians. And their viewpoints were completely opposite. How could that be right? It was a cool show, but it left me a little disappointed. Watch it sometime...Saturdays at 9P on PAX. Yes, that's right...I was home at 9 PM on Saturday night. Ha ha.

Actually, my staying home Sat night was a conscious decision. It was something that I used to do. I realized that my Sundays were miserable because of all the business, and I was usually so tired because I had stayed out too late on Sat. Well, now I am recommitting to staying home again on Sat night in order to have a good day on Sunday and not feel overwhelmed.

Well, that's about it for now. Oh ya, one more thing. I did change my day off to Monday starting this week. I havent had a full day off since July when we opened the Zone, so starting Monday, I am going to try to take a whole day off since the Zone isnt open on Mondays!! I'll let you all know how it goes! Ha ha.

A Huge Headache...

So today is my day off, and I am laying on the couch with a HUGE headache. I dont know if it is the weather, or maybe I am starting to get sick. All I know is that it feels like Michael Flately is doing Riverdance on my head! WOW. Might have to break out the "Motrin Migraine" soon if something doesn't change.

Last night at FUSION I spoke on Social Desires...the desire to be liked and popular. As I was getting ready to speak this message this week, I was struck with a funny thought. It was this...do our struggles ever change? Do we ever get over some of this stuff we struggle with?

I thought this because during my prep time, I started realizing that a lot of the struggles that I was going to be describing to these teens were things that I see adults around me struggling with all the time. I talked about how fear of not being part of the "in" crowd stops us from reaching our potential, hinders our dreams, and causes us to miss God's call on our lives. Remember that feeling from high school? I do. But the funny thing is...I still think that way sometimes and I know a lot of other adults do too!

I just was asking myself last night if we ever grow past these struggles. Do we ever allow God to help us move past these immature struggles? I don't know. Just a thought.

WOW! Get this CD...

Chris Tomlin's new CD"Arriving" is unbelievable. Seriously, it is my new favorite! I pre-ordered it a few weeks ago, and I am still waiting to get it. I couldn't wait any longer though, so I went out and bought it. I dont really know why it is taking so long to get here in the mail, but I just figure I will give this one away when I get the autographed one in the mail.

Anyway, this CD is so great. I have loved Tomlin's music for a long time. I cant really sing it, because it is always so stinkin high, but I love to try anyway! Ha ha. This new CD, though, is his best work ever. It's one of those CD's that you get and you love EVERY SINGLE SONG on it. There isn't one song that I skip over. And I haven't gotten a CD like that in a long time.

My favorite song on the CD is #3..."How Great Is Our God." Songwriters out there...you should strive to write songs like this one. It conveys God's power, beauty, omnipotence, majesty, and holiness. No CD should ever exist without a song like this on it. It's what worship is all about. GET THIS CD if you dont already have it.

"Reality" TV? Give me a break...

I love this show...The Apprentice. I watched it last season, and as is uaually the case, I called the winner from very early in the season. This season is great too. The women contestants are completely annoying, but overall, the show is a regular part of my Thursday night TV. And Thursday night TV is a regular part of my world! Love it.

So anyway, I was watching this, and Survivor before it, and I started laughing (which is really embarassing...even though I was totally by myself...ever felt that way...embarassed about laughing at TV when you're by yourself?). I was thinking about the fact that "TV people"call this reality TV. REALITY TV?!?!?! Whatever! Who's reality are they talking about? Who lives on an island in the middle of nowhere, eats bugs, and carries around a torch as a symbol of life? Even the concept of tribes...who lives that way anymore? Then there's The Apprentice. It's The Donald's creation...need I say more? I mean, could anyone ever be more out of touch with reality than The Donald? The man has a gold penthouse appartment in Manhattan. He has a private 747. He owns stinkin New York! Reality? Right. Or what about The Real World on MTV. I haven't seen this show for quite some time, but when I was in college, I used to watch it all the time. It really was the pioneer of this thing they are calling "reality TV." And let me asure anyone who might for one second think this way of living is normal...IT'S NOT! haha.

Sometimes I wonder if the current reality TV craze is affecting us as a nation..as a people. It seems like it could lead to problems. When we're fed a picture of reality that isnt really reality...hmm.

Anyway...I love The Apprentice. As for now, I'm going to keep watching it. I'll make sure to spend some time getting grounded again after each and every show on Thursday night. Ha ha. I mean, I dont think I am having a problem yet with losing touch on reality. Some people say that since I painted my front door with gold leaf, gilded my coffee table, and hairspray my hair until it is as hard as concrete I am losing touch. I dont think so...do you? Ha ha.

What A Job...

Well, it's one of those moments in youth ministry where you sit wondering if anything you are doing is worth it. Things haven't gone particularly bad lately. I mean, SURGE was good last night, lots of new kids and fun energy. FUSION is back this week, and I think it will be a good night. I'm really pretty excited about this week's experience..."material desires"...needless to say I am being challenged in the preparation time! ha ha.

I had a conversation with Brandon last night, though, that I think we both walked away from feeling a little defeated. We talked a lot about student ministry and if what we are doing is making a difference or not. We shot around a lot of ideas, and basically I think we came to the conclusion that we are just tryin things out and seeing where they go.

Student ministry, though, has been such a tough job lately. I mean, sometimes it feels like everything I am working towards is so futile. I'm fighting against so many things that are pulling these students in the opposite direction. There's the normal teenage things like insecurity and rebellion. There are the family dynamics that are so often opposite of Christ's direction. There are societal messages like "plan to make money" and "don't let go of control". So much.

There's also more. There's my own issues to deal with too. Things like "am I pure in my motives?" Or "Is it pride that is driving my desire to do these things?" Or "What a punk kid...Give me a break!" Seriously...sometimes my own stuff is what muddies the picture so much!

OK so with all that said, I have made no conclusions. I want to be able to say that I go to bed every night feeling good about what I am doing. I want to live each day knowing that my life is making a difference. And I want to know that the impact my ministry is making on a kid's life is going to last more than just 24 hours. That's what I want. And I really think I want these things for good reasons...not prideful reasons...but for the students. I want them to experience what I have experienced...peace knowing God.

Hmmm...peace knowing God...doesn't seem like I am experiencing too much of that today. That's where I'll start.