2 signs you're in orange county...

1. a pierced, tatooed harley guy dressed in leather chaps and a cooks corner t-shirt (local biker bar) stands in front of you at starbucks and orders a double shot skinny carmel machiatto no whip with an extra pump of vanilla...so orange county

2. a man dressed in denim from head to toe complete with well-worn cowboy boots and 10 gallon hat smoking a pack (yes, a pack) or marlboros (not lights) sits outside starbucks drinking a venti dark roast...i'm waiting for him to break out a tin cup for the coffee and hop on his trusty sidekick, Silver, and ride down the dusty road to right the wrongs of the next mining town.

both of these incidents are real accounts of real people in the real orange county...

till later...

agree to agree...

from simply strategic volounteers...one of the chapters (i cant remember which number) talks about this idea of agreeing to agree...at first, i was confused...i have always heard of agreeing to disagree...and in my mind this means that at the end of a discussion, if you're still not on the same page, then you just say "let's just agree to disagree"...there's no love lost...there's no hard feelings...but you still believe the other person is wrong and you are right...

the tip in this book is a little diffferent...its the idea of agreeing to agree...here's how it works...you come to a point in a discussion where you disagree...you listen to both points of view...and together the team makes a decision...those that disagree with that decision make a conscious, internal decision to agree...instead of assuming that they are right and the other person is wrong, they assume that it is the best decision...instead of just sweeping hard feelings under the rug and saying "lets just agree to disagree" they move themselves internally to a position of "this IS the best decision and I am onboard"...

its important, i think...when i agree to disagree, there is room for pride to get a foothold...there is bitterness beneath the surface...and i cant wait to say "i told you so"...but i've been practicing agreeing to agree...and i gotta say, its humbling...when i insist internally that i agree and i force myself to assume that the decision/conclusion landed on is the best, then i am humbled...cause clearly i just dont understand or dont have all the information...and that is a good place to be...a place for me where i dont know all the answers and i'm not always right..

till later...

"spiritual" gifts or spirit-led gifts...

i mentioned a few posts ago that i've been chewing around some thoughts about spiritual gifts...and i'm not sure that i've totally figured out all of what i've been thinking...but here's where i'm landing on this as of right now...

i've been thinking lately about how so much of what i do is "self" motivated...and i've noticed that i'm not alone in this...even within the church...i was listening recently to a talk about spiritual gifts, and i heard how a lot of the language that we use to talk about even something as "spiritual" as spiritual gifts is self motivated...for instance, we talk about "what is my gift" and "how has god shaped me"...sometimes in books or conversations or messages that i hear about these things it almost feels like we are looking for the answers to these ?'s because we want to advance ourselves...i'm not sure i am explaining this well or not...here's an example...when we talk about using our gifts to serve, i've heard a lot of speakers say things like "if you find your shape, and serve in that shape, it will be the best life you could possibly live"...or maybe its more like "you're the only one that can do what you were created to do"...even in talking about using our spiritual gifts the focus is on advancing ourselves...it's all about "your life will be better" or "you are unique...and maybe even a little better than others"...

now dont get me wrong here...i totally believe in spiritual gifts...i believe that one of the best things that you can do is figure out your shape and serve in it...i've given shape tests to students for 7 years now...i would LOVE to be in a position to always serve in my shape...but the thing is...sometimes it just seems like we are on this journey of self-discovery and shape-discovery for our own glory...not for HIS glory...i mean, isnt the fact that god gave his only son on the cross enough to motivate us to serve him in anyway possible?...is it possible that finding out our shape and using that to serve him has very little to do with (in God's eyes) our own satisfaction, sense of accomplishment, or need to feel special?...is it possible that true self-discovery and shape-discovery begins, continues, and ends in a place that is willing to be led by god...sometimes it just feels like the language communicates "once i figure out (on my own) what my shape is, THEN i'll use that to serve God"...what if it was more like "i'm completely surrendered...wherever you lead...whatever you ask...i'm yours"...what if the journey to shape and self-discovery isnt something we look backwards to (where WE know the answer and we just have to find it)but is instead something that is always ahead (something we have to move outside ourselves to find)?...what if spiritual giftedness is for the moment...the moment that god places you in and calls you to?...

so obviously this needs some more thought...and clarification...just thought i would throw it out there...

till later...

like a kiss on the face (from soul cravings)...

"when God does come to embrace us, to meet us face-to-face, to bring us into relationship with him, we far to often find ourselves betraying love...
yet His love is undeterred...
he still pursues us with relentless compassion...
god is the passionate lover of humanity...
he created you for love...
you cannot live without love, and you do not have to...
yes, there is an insanity to live. You will go mad pursuing it...
you will despise life itself if you do not find it...
your soul craves love and will find satisfaction with nothing less...
you shouldn't be surprised that as you look for love, you keep running into God...
listen to your soul... you have not given yourself to a futile search...
you are not alone in your pursuit...
love searches for you..."

my favorite line in this is "you shouldn't be surprised that as you look for love, you keep running into God"...

i haven't totally figured out why i connected so strongly with this line...i just know that as I was reading today at the beach I read this line probably 10 times...it stopped me dead in my tracks...i'll keep trying to figure it out...i dont know...

till later...

our father, who art in heaven...

i spent some time tonight talking with a student who's father died this past week...his emotions were raw, a little close to the surface, but he seemed numb too...as we were talking, there were a couple of things that came up that i havent quite been able to shake all evening...

i asked this guy if there was something in particular that he was thinking about that was causing his emotions...he said that he was just starting to realize that he was never going to see his dad again...he went on to talk about some of the things he loved to do with his dad and how he was sad that he would never get to do those things again...as he was talking i found myself thinking that, in my relationship with god- my heavenly father- I would never have to know this pain...i would always know that the future was a picture of being with god...i would always have something to look forward to...i didnt need to look backward...

as we were talking, i said to him "god understands your pain. he watched his son die. he knows the pain you're feeling. you're not alone in it."... i've just found myself thinking about this a lot tonight...god gets it...a lot of times our painful times in life are made even more painful by our thoughts that god doesn't get it...that we are alone in it...that nothing can make it better...god gets it though...he's been through the worst, so that when we go through it, he knows...he gets it...

almost depressing, i know...i have some thoughts floating around in my head too about spiritual gifts and self-centerdness and duty too...i'm still figuring them out thought, so I think i'll post them tomorrow...till later...

brighter days...

my friend brandon sometimes puts lyrics on his blog from different songs that he is listening to...he's a musician...i'm not...but i thought i would do it this time anyway...

i've been listening to the new leeland album...its one of those albums that the first time you listen to it you might not be blown away...but then after you've listened to it a few times, you catch something that you like...or you just warm up to it or something...this is one of those albums for me...the song brighter days was that moment for me...i've been spending a lot of time lately at the laguna beach starbucks right across from the main beach (its where i'm writing from now)...i have no idea why, but for some reason its a place where i can reflect and get out of myself a little...and the other day when i was there i came across this song...the first line is strong...

"time keeps moving on,
through the sunshine and the storm"

have you ever noticed how we try to stop time?...i do this all the time...when things are great...when life is good, and happiness is abundant, and relationships are good i want to stop time...i dont want it to end...i just want it to stay right there...and the opposite is the same...when life sucks...i would think i would want it to move ahead so life wouldnt suck anymore, but when i stop and think about it, i usually stop in these moments...i let apathy take over...i let laziness set in...and i sure dont hold onto the truth that "time keeps moving on"...

that's not even what this song is really about...but that one line caught my attention...it makes me ask the ? what would my life look like if i lived knowing that "time keeps moving on"...how would it affect me during the "sunshine" moments?...how would i react differently to the "storm" days of life?...this is a question i am going to be thinking a lot about this week...i get the sense that my life would look significantly different...and i think i need that...

till later...

XP3...

i had a friend that told me about this discipleship resource...sweet website...i think its connected to northpoint...but i couldnt find anywhere on the website that says this...i love the XP3 idea...students experience three things...wonder, discovery, and passion...very cool...i passed on a sample lesson to jamie (our small groups coordinator) to see if its something we might be interested in for our small groups...till later...

from soul cravings...

"while our brains may deny it, our hearts know it... love is proof of god. ..the further we move from love the more distant god becomes."

when i love...god is near
when someone shows me love...god is near

good stuff...till later...

simple...

i'm sitting in starbucks right now...just dropped off my dad at the airport...he was out here for the PD Network Summit...this feels like the first chance I've had to mentally debrief from the summit...i was just sitting here thinking about the statistic that we've all heard of...half of the world lives on less than $1/day...I just spent $1.85 on a grande green tea lemonade with three pumps of melon...i've done this a lot lately...i'm not sure how i made this leap...but i was just thinking...what if you skipped every other trip to starbucks and put that money into a jar to save for a peace trip...and what if everytime you put the money in a jar you stopped and prayed for the people who live on less than $1/day...simple...hmmm...i had a friend that is going to kenya soon...i think i'll use this money to support her on her journey...i'll keep you posted on how its going...till later...

book reading strategy...

(i haven't posted on here forever...again...i know...but i'm just going to ignore this and just jump right in and start again...haha..enough said)

i used to have this strategy for reading books...so like me...i cant do anything simply...gotta have a strategy or a plan or something...haha...so anyway...i've gotten away from it recently...i think just the busyness of life and probably a little laziness on my part led to that...but about 2 weeks ago i started it again...just thought i would share it with you...

i read 4 books at a time...i read a leadership book, a "peace" issue book, a personal growth book, and a youth ministry book...i feel like these are 4 areas that i have to be growing in all the time...i always want to be growing in leadership, learning more about the state of our world and what my role is, moving forward in a relationship with God, and staying fresh in ministry...so i read a little bit of all four book at the same time...for me, it works...i dont know if it will be helpful to anyone else or not...but there it is...my strategy...haha

i just listed my current reads on the side column...i'll keep you posted as these change...

till later...